Have you ever broken up with someone and looked back, years later through the sterilized and well-polished glass of hind-sight, only to find upon honesty and real thought process that you were being completely ridiculous for one reason or another?
For instance, I remember telling my ex at the bright young age of 19 that flowers purchased at a grocery store simply weren’t good enough. Going to a florist (apparently) showed more thoughtfulness, more effort. I look back on that now and think “You idiot!! You were one of a handful of women lucky enough in that stage of youth to find a man who thought AT ALL to buy you flowers!!” Many times have I wished that I could go back and smack myself upside the head, but since that’s not an option, I learn from it now. It got me wondering though, on a much larger scale of course, how often do we try to commit serial relationship suicide? Thinking back I consider myself lucky to have found a few guys who were willing to wait out or actually consider these types of acts of stupidity, because if they hadn’t I’d have successfully hung several relationships from the rafters. How many other people, do you think, look back on their dating relationships something like “It was me, in the kitchen, with a sharp self-esteem issue.”? Relationships shouldn’t be like playing a game of Clue, trying to decipher who it was that really killed it in the end. And more importantly, what causes us to act this way? I think back trying to figure out who or what on earth could’ve damaged me to such an extent at the ripe age of 19? This was one of my first serious boyfriends, one of the prospective “love of my life”. How had I even had TIME to become that cynical and damaged? I think the first step to discovering what makes you a relationship mass-murderer is to really examine the skeletons in the closet. This will likely be more painful or confusing than you’d care to spend time on, but maybe you won’t knock your next relationship over the head when it’s not looking.
Comments are closed.