We’ve all heard the expression about who wears the pants in the relationship. Usually this discussion is had by friends, co-workers or acquaintances who are discussing a couple’s obvious (often painfully obvious) imbalance of power structure.
This usually occurs when a wife or husband regularly and publicly belittles or overrides their partner with little discussion or protect from the offended party. This embarrassing behavior constitutes little whispers from those surrounding the incident of “I wouldn’t wanna be that guy/girl.” or “Did you see that, I can’t believe he/she would act that way publicly.” Eventually the other shoe will drop, however, and the person getting trampled will explode, implode or leave. On the other hand, sometimes we see couples who exemplify the expression “Too many chiefs and not enough Indians”. This occurs when two dominant and most often stubborn people find each other. The point of all the pants and shoes and Indians is this: Why does there have to be a power struggle in a relationship?” I think that especially since the women’s rights movement and the female sex finding new positions of power and equality in the working world, we now see more struggles for power in relationships. I’m not saying that the women’s rights movement was anything short of necessary: but I am saying that this type of personal relationship issue might be a negative side-effect. Balance in a relationship, particularly and online dating relationship is key. No one of you should call all the shots with respect to the money, the kids, the house or any other aspect of your relationship. When you both learn to listen a little more, communicate a little more, and pull a little less you just might find that even footing fits you both quite well. Remember, more happy Indians means more “happy in pants”.
Comments are closed.